Why the best people doubt themselves the most
Feb 15, 2026
I was at a networking event recently when I met a woman with 15 years of M&A experience at top investment banks.
She was telling me about her new business — helping companies handle the people side of mergers and acquisitions. A brilliant idea, backed by real expertise.
But you’d never have guessed it from the way she talked about it.
Her shoulders were slightly hunched. Her voice was quiet. She described herself as “trying to set up” her business, almost apologising for the idea.
I asked how long she’d been at it.
One month.
One month! And she already sounded like she was failing.
I kept thinking about her on my way home. Because here’s what struck me: I’ve met plenty of people with half her experience and twice her confidence. People who’d happily call themselves “experts” after reading two books on the topic.
So why was she — someone who’d actually done the work — so full of doubt?
And then I realised: I’d seen this pattern everywhere. In brilliant engineers I’ve coached. In senior leaders I’ve worked with. In myself — when I got promoted into bigger roles, or when I first started my own consulting business.
The people who know the most seem to doubt themselves the most. And when you’re often the only woman in the room, that doubt finds even more reasons to stick around.
That question kept nagging me. So I went looking for answers.
Turns out, science has three clear explanations. And once you understand them, self-doubt starts to feel very different.
#1: The more you learn, the more you see what you don’t know
You’ve probably heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect. It works like this:
When someone is new to a topic, they don’t know enough to see what they’re missing. So they feel confident. Think of a junior colleague who presents a half-baked idea with total conviction. They’re not being arrogant — they simply can’t see the gaps yet.
But as you gain experience, you start to see just how much there is to learn. You notice the complexity. You understand the risks. And that awareness? It can feel like doubt.
So here’s the uncomfortable truth: the fact that you have self-doubt might actually be evidence that you know what you’re doing.
That junior colleague who seems so sure of themselves? They just can’t see what you can see.
#2: You’ve forgotten how hard your skills were to learn
This one is called the “curse of knowledge” and it really hit home for me.
Once you know something well, your brain treats it as obvious. You forget that it took you years to learn it.
Think about it this way. Imagine you’ve been driving for 20 years. Changing lanes, checking mirrors, adjusting speed — it all feels automatic now. You don’t even think about it.
But remember your first driving lesson? Your hands were sweating. You couldn’t coordinate the pedals. Everything felt impossible.
That’s what happens with professional expertise too.
The woman I met at the networking event? She’d spent 15 years navigating the messy human side of corporate mergers. She could read a room of anxious employees and know exactly what they needed to hear. To her, that felt like “nothing special.”
But to someone without her experience, it would feel like a superpower.
When you stop valuing what you know — because it feels “easy” to you — you start questioning why anyone would pay you for it. And that’s when self-doubt takes over.
#3: Experts catch their own mistakes in real time
This is the one I found most fascinating.
When you’re highly skilled at something, your brain develops what researchers call “higher metacognition.” In simple terms: you become very good at spotting your own errors, even tiny ones, as they happen.
A beginner gives a presentation and walks away thinking “that went fine” — because they didn’t notice the moments they lost the room.
An expert gives the same presentation and walks away thinking “I stumbled on that transition, I didn’t land my key message clearly enough, and I should have paused longer after that important point.”
The expert actually performed better. But they feel worse about it. Because their internal quality monitor is so finely tuned that it catches every small imperfection.
That constant self-correction? It can feel exactly like self-doubt. But it’s actually a sign of mastery.
So what can you do about it?
Now you know where the doubt comes from. Here’s how to handle it.
1. Get outside feedback to cure the “curse of knowledge”
Since you can’t accurately judge your own expertise anymore (because everything feels “obvious” to you), you need other people to reflect your value back to you.
Ask a trusted colleague or client: “What’s something I do that you find really valuable?” Their answer will probably surprise you. The things you take for granted are often the things others admire most.
But here’s the important part: when they tell you, resist the urge to explain it away. Don’t say “oh, anyone could do that” or “it’s just part of my job.” That’s the curse of knowledge talking — convincing you that what took years to master is somehow obvious. Let the feedback sit. Write it down. Read it back when the doubt gets loud.
This is exactly what I would tell that woman at the networking event. She needs to hear from the people she’s helped just how rare her skills actually are.
2. Reframe the doubt as a signal
Next time self-doubt shows up, try this: instead of thinking “I’m not good enough,” think “this doubt is here because I’m good at this.”
Remember — the Dunning-Kruger effect tells us that people who genuinely lack skill don’t feel much doubt at all. If you’re feeling it, it means your brain is doing exactly what a skilled brain does.
The doubt isn’t a red flag. It’s a badge of competence.
3. Use your sharp self-awareness as an advantage
That internal voice catching every small mistake? Don’t fight it. Use it.
Instead of letting it make you feel bad, let it drive you to keep improving. After a meeting or presentation, write down one thing that went well and one thing you’d tweak next time. That’s it.
You’re turning what feels like self-criticism into a tool for growth. And over time, you’ll notice something: you’re getting better and better, precisely because you can see what others can’t.
Here’s what I want you to take away
If you’re someone who regularly doubts yourself despite being good at what you do — you’re not broken. Your brain is actually working exactly as it should.
The doubt doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It means you understand the challenge well enough to take it seriously.
That woman I met? She doesn’t need more experience before she launches her business. She needs to recognise that her doubt is a side effect of her expertise — not a reason to hold back.
And the same goes for you.
Understanding where your doubt comes from is the first step. But understanding alone changes nothing. There is always something you can do — even when the doubt is loud, even when the room feels unwelcoming, even when you’re not sure you belong. You do. And the next move is yours.