Why people ignore your ideas

Last week, I was on a customer insights call when something unexpected happened.

I was discussing a new product with a technical expert. She shared her insights, and then she offered to introduce me to a senior leader, rehearse the pitch and even deliver part of the presentation herself, to give the product the best chance.

I was stunned. This level of support from someone I’d just met? It felt unusual.

So I asked her why.

What she told me next was fascinating.

“For years, no one listened to my ideas”

She took a deep breath and shared her story.

As an immigrant woman in a technical team, she spent years feeling invisible. She had developed amazing solutions but couldn’t get her message through.

“I convinced myself it was because I was just a girl from abroad,” she told me. “Why would anyone listen to me?”

The frustration built up so much, she fell into depression. Imagine having the answers your company needs, but feeling like you’re speaking into a black hole.

Then a friend said something that changed everything.

The mindset shift that changed her career

Her friend was blunt: “As long as you believe being an immigrant woman is the problem, you’re blocking yourself from the solution. What if the issue isn’t who you are, but how you’re communicating?”

That hit hard.

She got curious and started studying psychology and communication research.

And she discovered a simple technique that changed how people responded to her.

The technique that gets people to actually listen

“I used to launch straight into technical details,” she explained. “Here’s the solution, here’s how it works, here’s the data.”

“But I learnt people don’t care about your solution until they know what’s in it for them.”

She gave me an example that made it crystal clear:

Before: “We should implement this new debugging protocol that uses AI-powered analysis...”

After: “I know you’re frustrated about spending 3 hours daily on bug fixes. I’ve found a way to cut that to 30 minutes. Want me to show you how?”

See the difference?

The second approach:

• Acknowledges what they care about

• Shows you understand their pain

• Promises a benefit they want

• Makes them want to listen
  
  

Why this works

Here’s what clicked for me during our conversation: This isn’t just about pitching new products. It’s about every interaction where you need someone to listen.

We often think people don’t listen because:

• We’re not senior enough

• We don’t have the right background

• We’re not loud or assertive enough

But maybe we’re simply not connecting our message to what matters to them.

Your action plan: Make them care first

Ready to test this yourself? Here’s exactly what to do:

1. Know their goals
   Before your next important conversation, ask yourself: What keeps this person up at night? What are they measured on? What would make them look good to their boss?

2. Lead with their win
   Start with how your idea helps them. Not the technical details, but their benefit.

3. Speak their language
   If they’re not technical, skip the jargon. If they love numbers, lead with metrics. Match their communication style.

In your next meeting, start with what’s in it for them, not what’s interesting to you.

Then watch how they listen to you.

The happy ending to her story

That woman who felt invisible for years? She’s now a recognised expert. Her solutions get implemented.

Nothing about her identity changed. She’s still an immigrant woman in tech.

What changed was how she connected her brilliant ideas to what others cared about.

And that’s something we all can do.