Who's truly blocking your promotion?

Have you ever blamed someone else for a problem at work... only to realise later that you were part of the issue?

This used to happen to me a lot.

I’d think: “My manager doesn’t support me.”
Or “My colleagues don’t listen to my ideas.”
Or “This company just doesn’t value my work.”

Recently I attended a Masterclass of Leila Hormozi, a brilliant US based entrepreneur.

She shared her experience with being a leader, and this one sentence surprised me:

“All your problems are a reflection of your inner state.”

My first thought: That can’t be true.

Surely some problems really ARE caused by other people?

But the more I thought about it, the more I saw the truth in her words.

Let me explain what I mean.

When you point the finger, three fingers point back at you

Think about it this way.

If you believe your team isn’t detail-oriented enough... could it be that YOU have let small mistakes slide? That you’ve set the standard lower than you intended?

If you think your manager doesn’t advocate for you... could it be that YOU haven’t given them the evidence they need to fight for you?

Uncomfortable to hear, right?

But here’s the good news: if you are part of the problem, then you can also be part of the solution.

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.
 

A simple method to get unstuck

Leila’s insight led me to discover Byron Katie, an American teacher who has helped thousands of people find peace with her method called “The Work.”

Her big idea is simple:

Your thoughts about a situation cause more suffering than the situation itself.

And most of the time? Your thoughts aren’t even true.

Let me show you how this works with a real example.

Meet Anna (this could be you)

Anna has been stuck in the same role for two years. She wants a promotion. But it hasn’t happened.

Her thought: “My manager should support me more.”

Sound familiar?

Now, let’s put this thought through Byron Katie’s four questions.

Question 1: Is it true?

Ask yourself: Is this thought really true?

Anna thinks about it. Her gut says yes. Her manager should support her more. That’s what managers are supposed to do, right?

That’s okay. If it feels true, accept that for now.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true?

This is where it gets interesting.

Anna asks herself:

• Do I know everything my manager says about me in leadership meetings?

• Do I see every email they send on my behalf?

• Is it possible they’re doing things I don’t know about?

Suddenly, she’s less certain. Maybe she doesn’t have the full picture.

Question 3: How do you react when you believe this thought?
 

This question is powerful. It makes you see what the thought is doing to YOU.

When Anna believes “my manager should support me more,” she:

• Feels frustrated before every meeting with them

• Doesn’t fully trust them

• Notices everything they do wrong

• Feels relieved when their conversations end

• Doubts her own abilities

• Feels alone and unsupported

Look at that list. The thought is making her miserable. And it’s probably showing up in how she acts around them too.

Question 4: Who would you be without this thought?

Imagine you couldn’t think this thought at all. It simply wasn’t possible.

How would you feel? How would you act differently?

Anna imagines this. Without the thought, she would:

• Feel less frustrated at work

• Have more energy for her actual job

• Approach her manager with curiosity instead of resentment

• Feel more in control of her own career
  
  

The turnaround: Flip the thought around

Here’s the final step. Take your original thought and turn it around.

“My manager should support me more” becomes:

“I should support my manager more.”

Wait, what?

Think about it. If Anna’s manager doesn’t have clear evidence of her achievements, how can they fight for her promotion? Maybe she needs to make their job easier by documenting her wins and sharing them regularly.

Now try another turnaround:

“I should support myself more.”

If Anna doesn’t believe she deserves the promotion, how can she expect her manager to believe it? Maybe she needs to build her own confidence first. Find mentors. See proof that she’s capable.

What happened when I tried this
 

I’ll be honest. When I first did this exercise, I was surprised.

I had been so focused on what others weren’t doing for me. I hadn’t looked at what I wasn’t doing for myself.

The turnaround didn’t make me blame myself. It made me feel curious.

What if I did…?

This gave me something I hadn’t had before: a path forward.

Your turn
 

Here’s what I want you to do.

Think of one situation where you feel stuck. One where you genuinely believe the problem is someone else’s fault.

Write down your thought.

Keep it simple, something like:

• “My colleague should listen to me more.”

• “My company should value my work.”

• “My team should be more reliable.”
  
  

Now walk through the four questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know it’s true?

3. How do you react when you believe this thought?

4. Who would you be without this thought?

Then do the turnaround. Flip the thought to be about yourself.

You might be surprised what you discover.
 

The bottom line

You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself.

But here’s the beautiful thing: when you change how you think, everything else starts to shift too.

Your problems might not disappear overnight. But you’ll have the power to do something about them.

And that makes all the difference.