How I am changing my relationship with risk

I’m about to do something that feels scary.

In a week, I’m giving a keynote at a women in STEM conference, in front of 600+ people. Without any script.

I learnt the entire 20-minute talk by heart. Because I want to look at the audience, connect with them, and not read from a piece of paper.

Am I worried about drawing a blank on stage? Absolutely.

Am I still going for it? Yes.

Let me tell you why - and how this can help you take bigger risks in your career, too.

What my coach taught me about mistakes

When I told my coach how nervous I was, she didn’t say “don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Instead, she told me a story from her own background in acting.

One of her fellow actors forgot his script on stage. He drew a complete blank in front of the live audience.

But instead of freezing, he did something clever. He improvised a reason for his character to leave the house. Then he walked off the stage, calmly checked his script, and came back on.

No one in the audience noticed.

That story changed how I think about high-stakes moments. There is no need for “hope you don’t mess up.” Actually the lesson is: have a plan for when things don’t go to plan.

Why this matters more than you think

Most people avoid risks not because the risk itself is that big, but because they can’t tolerate the uncertainty. They have an endless loop in their mind of “but what if it goes wrong?”.

Here’s what the research tells us: women ruminate more than men. We’re more likely to replay scenarios, anticipate what could go wrong, and wait until we feel 100% certain before acting. This has nothing to do with your personality. It’s a well-documented cognitive pattern that comes from years of operating in environments where the consequences of getting it wrong are genuinely higher for us.

The problem is: that caution keeps you out of the rooms where career decisions are made.

So what do we do about it? Not “be braver” - that’s useless advice. Instead, we reduce the uncertainty that creates those worries in the first place.

What I realised: When you have a clear plan for the “what if it goes wrong” moment, something shifts. The risk suddenly feels manageable. Why? The risk itself didn’t change - but the uncertainty did.

You went from “I don’t know what I’d do” to “I know exactly what I’d do.”

That’s a big difference.

My backup plan for the keynote

My coach and I spent 30 minutes rehearsing one thing: what to do if my mind goes blank on stage.

The plan is simple: Breathe, ground myself, then say to the audience: “Let’s think about that for a moment.”

And during that pause, I walk to the speaker’s podium where my notes are waiting.

Nothing complicated.

Here’s what happened after we practised it: I felt calmer about the entire talk. Because the worst-case scenario now had a solution. My brain could stop rehearsing the disaster and start focusing on the actual talk.

This works beyond presentations

You might be thinking: “That’s great for a keynote, Christina, but my challenge isn’t a presentation.”

Fair enough. Let me show you how this works for a very different kind of career risk.

Let’s say your company is investigating BCorp certification. They want to set up a cross-functional team to figure out the effort and return on investment. You think about putting yourself forward to lead it.

But then the doubts start.

“I’m not a BCorp expert. Why would the team take me seriously?”

“There are so many stakeholders involved. What if the project runs behind schedule and people think I can’t manage it?”

“I have to present the recommendation to the Board. What if I get it wrong?”

Sound familiar? These are the kind of worries that stop talented women from stepping forward. And if you recognise that pattern of needing to feel 100% certain before you act - you’re not alone. It’s one of the most common things I hear from the women I work with.

So let’s take each one and create a backup plan. Nothing you need to act on right now. Just something you know you could do if the moment comes.
 

Worry #1: “The team won’t take me seriously because I’m not the expert.”
 

Here’s something important to understand first. Leading a cross-functional initiative doesn’t mean you need to be the subject matter expert. What people actually value is a person who brings the right experts together and drives decisions. That’s a different skill.

Your backup: If you sense the team isn’t seeing you as the leader, facilitate a session on how the team will work together. What do we expect from each other? How will we make decisions? The act of facilitating that conversation positions you as the person in charge. Because that’s what leaders do - they create structure.

Worry #2: “The project might run behind and people will think I’m not capable.”

Projects with many stakeholders often take longer than planned. It’s natural in complex environments, and not a sign of failure.

Your backup: Write down - in advance - the steps you’d take if a delay happens. Who would you tell first? What would you say? What early signals would you watch for?

Here’s the powerful part. If that moment comes and you communicate the delay calmly, early, and with a plan to get back on track, that actually builds your reputation. People trust the person who sees problems coming and handles them with composure. They don’t trust a person who pretends everything is fine until it’s too late.

Worry #3: “What if my recommendation to the Board is wrong?”
 

Before you prepare anything, ask yourself this: what does “wrong” actually mean here?

In most cases, it means the Board disagrees with your recommendation. I want you to rethink that - because a discussion is actually a good sign, it means the Board members are mentally engaged. Nothing better than them challenging the logic!

Your backup: Prepare a clear explanation of the trade-offs you considered. Show the options you weighed and why you landed where you did. If the Board chooses a different direction, they can still see your thinking was thorough and well-reasoned. They won’t necessarily remember whether they agreed with you, but whether you did the work.

The simple framework you can use for any risk
 

Whether it’s volunteering for a stretch project, pushing back on a senior stakeholder, or asking for a promotion - the process is the same.

Step 1: Write down what specifically you’re worried about. Not vague fears, but specific scenarios.

Step 2: For each one, create a backup plan. What would you do if that exact thing happened? You don’t need to act on it, but know it’s there.

Step 3: Notice how you feel after doing this. Most people find the risk suddenly feels much smaller. The situation hasn’t changed, but the uncertainty is gone. You’ve given your brain something concrete instead of an endless loop.

Here’s what I want you to take away

You don’t need to get rid of all your worries, and pretend everything will be fine. You just need to know what you’d do if things don’t go to plan.

That actor didn’t stop performing because he might forget his lines. He made a plan for that moment, and then got on with the show.

I’m not standing on that stage next week because I’m 100% sure I won’t blank - I know what I’ll do if I do.

That’s the shift. From “what if it goes wrong?” to “I know what I’ll do if it goes wrong.”

And once you make that shift, you’ll be surprised how many risks suddenly feel worth taking.