"Just be yourself" - but what does that actually mean?

“Just be yourself at work.”

I used to wonder what this advice actually meant. Especially when I was the only woman in a room full of engineers, being “myself” felt risky. Would they take me seriously if I showed uncertainty? Could I admit when I didn’t know some of the tech in depth?

Here’s what nobody tells you about authenticity:

It’s not about sharing your whole life story in team meetings. Or wearing flip-flops to the board presentation because “that’s the real you.”

One of my former colleagues put it perfectly: “I thought being authentic meant being the same person at work as I am at home. But my work self IS still me - just in professional mode.”

What authenticity at work actually means

Think of authenticity as alignment.

It’s when your inner self - your values, beliefs, and natural working style - matches your outer behaviour. For example, how you speak up in meetings, the decisions you make or the way you lead your team.

When Emma first joined a fintech startup, she tried to copy her loud, interrupting colleagues. “I thought that’s how you had to be to succeed,” she told me. “But I was exhausted. And my ideas weren’t landing because I was so focused on being someone else.”

The research backs this up. When we work authentically, we’re more engaged, motivated, and perform better. But here’s the crucial bit: authenticity needs context.

How to find your authentic work self

1. Identify your work values

Take 5 minutes right now. Write down 3-5 values that matter to you at work. Not generic words like “integrity” - be specific.

Maybe it’s “explain the why behind decisions” or “data before opinions” or “make space for quiet voices.”

Then think about this:

• When did you feel most energised at work? You were probably living these values.

• When did you feel drained or frustrated? You were likely compromising them.

Keep this list somewhere visible - your phone notes, a sticky note on your laptop.

2. Catch yourself in the act

Notice when you’re putting on a mask.

Are you staying silent in meetings because “that’s what junior people do”? Agreeing with ideas you know won’t work because you “don’t want to rock the boat”?

When this happens, pause. Look at your values list. Ask yourself: “What would I do if I were being true to these values?”

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “I see this differently. Here’s what I’m thinking...”

3. Create space for others

Authenticity is contagious.

When you model it, others feel safer to do the same. Try these questions in your next meeting:

• “What perspectives haven’t we considered?”

• “Who else should weigh in on this?”

• “What are we not saying that needs to be said?”

I started doing this in my first Senior leadership role. The quality of our discussions transformed. People shared real concerns instead of what they thought leaders wanted to hear.

What this means for you

Being authentically you at work doesn’t mean being unprofessional. It means bringing your unique perspective, values, and strengths to the table.

Remember Emma from earlier? Once she stopped trying to be her loud colleagues and leaned into her thoughtful, analytical style, she got promoted twice in 18 months.

Your authentic self - with all its quirks and qualities - is exactly what your workplace needs.

You don’t need to become someone else to succeed. You need to become more fully yourself.