Is your goal changing your identity?

 
“If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you.”

I recently had a conversation with a now retired Senior leader. We talked about entrepreneurship, what it is like to run my own business, and how that is different from the roles I worked in before.

And yes, it is different. It requires a different way of thinking, and it changes the way I work.

That sentence above was his response.

I kept thinking about it long after our conversation. The principle applies to so many areas of your career and your life, and it has big implications for the kind of goals you choose. I had not heard of it before. But once you know it, you can use it to your advantage. That is why I want to share it with you today.

Let me walk you through an example from my own life first, using the book I wrote. Then I will show you how the same principle applies to your career.

The book goal

In January 2025, I decided to write a book. I had not actively planned for it, but the time was right. The goal felt right in my gut. (At that point, I did not know about the principle above.)

What did that mean in practice?

• I needed to find time to write, in a focused way. So I went on a curious exploration to understand how to maximise my energy, and when in the day would be best for writing. That led me to adopt a few small practices. For example, morning tea but no food for a couple of hours. This has now become a habit.

• I needed to understand what I truly stand for. A book gets printed and goes out into the world forever. You cannot just retract it and say, “I’ve changed my mind, let me rewrite it.” So I did the work of thinking about my personal brand: what I want, and what I do not want. That reflection has become the base for everything else I do, and I am glad I did it.

• I needed to learn how to introduce my book, pitch my ideas, and sell the book. Suddenly I have to do self-promotion, because the book is out there. How can I be proud of it without coming across as arrogant? That mindset and skillset is colouring off into my other work. I can pitch my business better, and I can talk about success stories and results more easily.

I did not set out to find new ways to focus, to define my personal brand, or to practice self-promotion. But the goal forced me to do all three, out of necessity.

How this applies to your career
 

Many other goals work in exactly the same way.

Say you set yourself the goal of getting into a senior leadership or executive position. That means you will want to:

• Find out where your knowledge and skill gaps are, and work on filling them. That might mean new habits to make time, or surrounding yourself with different people who can teach you. Either way, something in your habits or your environment will have to change.

• Understand how to manage your energy and your time. When you take a step up, that is more demanding than your role right now, so if you do not get the hang of this now, you will struggle later. That might mean changing your morning routine, your exercise, or your sleep. There are many ways this might reshape how you work and live.

• Understand how power and influence work. That is what will determine success in even getting into the role. (It is what we work on together in Keys to Impact.) Understanding this will change how you communicate and what you spend your time on day to day.

So now you see what that sentence really means: when you work on your goals, your goals work on you. They will require you to change routines, learn new skills, and grow into a new person. Your goals have the power to change who you are.

James Clear writes about this in his book Atomic Habits. He says the goals that stick are the ones tied to an identity, not just an outcome. “I want to lose weight” rarely holds. “I am someone who moves every day” does, because every time you move you are acting like the person you are becoming.
 

Why this matters
 

Once you understand this, you realise something important.

Setting a goal is not really about the goal itself. It is about deciding what kind of person you will become in the process.

That changes the question you need to ask yourself. Instead of “Is this the right goal?”, ask: “Is this the right goal for me?”

Why does this matter? When the goal is aligned with who you want to become, and with your values, you will feel much less friction on the way. That alignment massively increases your chances of reaching the goal.

Looking back, my book goal was aligned with my values — even though I did not set out to check that it was.

For example, I admire people who know exactly what they stand for. They are clear, and that clarity gives assurance to others. Whether they are a leader in a business or a thought leader who wrote a book, clarity is one of the biggest gifts they give to others. So spending time getting clear on my message as part of the book writing journey felt natural to me, even through many painful iterations. It was aligned with who I want to be.

The reverse is also true. When a goal is misaligned, it pulls against you, and your chances of reaching it drop.

What to do in practice

You do not want to let the goal work on you before you have decided it should.

My gut got it right with my book. But I do not want to leave this to instinct again, and I do not want you to either. So here is the methodical version.

When you are thinking about your next step in your career, or the next skill you want to learn, list 2 or 3 options. Then for each option, answer three questions:

1. What would I need to change about how I work or how I think to get there? Is that aligned with my values and who I want to become? Go deeper than “I would have to work longer hours, and I do not want to feel stressed.” That is just human nature being uncomfortable with change. Reflect more carefully. For example: “I would need to do my work differently and delegate more.” If you enjoy the responsibility of leading a team, you will feel that aligns with your values.
   
   

2. What would I need to change about the people around me? Is that what I want? Some goals require you to build influence with people higher up in the business. Are you the kind of person who enjoys conversations with senior leaders? Other goals require deeper technical skills, and might mean spending more time exchanging knowledge with other engineers.
   
   

3. What specific skills do I need to learn? Do I value people who have those skills already? Are these skills important to me?
   
   

When you compare your options through this lens, you will usually see very clearly which one is best for you, rather than rushing into something others see as the natural next step for you.

And what if you do this reflection and realise you are on the wrong goal? That can feel uncomfortable. But it is much better to know now than much later. Knowing now means you can make small adjustments and gradually shift away from it. The alternative is the mid-life crisis version, where you look up one day and realise you achieved a goal you do not actually care about.