Are you waiting to feel "ready"?

You’re in a meeting when a senior leader mentions a new position opening up. ‘We need someone really driven for this,’ they say. Your first thought: I would love to do that job. Your second thought: But am I actually ready?

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone. And this pattern is costing us careers.

The gap that holds us back

Here’s a finding that changed how I think about career moves.

HP ran an internal study in 2014. They found that women applied for roles only when they met 100% of the requirements. Men? They applied at 60%.

Another study shows that most stretch roles and promotions go to people who meet 60-70% of the requirements. Not 100%.

Why do we hold back?

It’s actually quite logical.

We anticipate failure more and feel losses more strongly. And let’s be honest - sometimes we are judged more harshly. So our brains are trying to protect us.

But this protection comes at a cost - it slows down your career.

Here are three ways to break the pattern.

#1: Make two lists before you decide

Most of us only think about what could go wrong if we apply.

The rejection and failure.

But what about what could go wrong if we don’t apply? For example:

• Missing a role that could change your career

• Staying stuck while others move forward

Try this: Take a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle.

On the left, write the risks of going for it. On the right, write the risks of staying put.

When I look at both lists, the choice becomes clearer.

#2: Ask a friend the question you can’t ask yourself

We often see our gaps, whilst others see our strengths.

Here’s what works: Describe your skills to a trusted colleague. Then ask them: “Would you apply if you had these skills?”

You’ll likely hear: “Of course! Why haven’t you already?”

One of my clients did this before applying for a director role. She listed all the reasons she wasn’t ready. Her friend listened, then said: “You just described someone more qualified than half the directors I know.”

She applied and got the job.

Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s eyes to see ourselves clearly.

#3: Lead with what you know (not what you don’t)

Let’s say you’ve decided to go for it. You’re in the interview.

Then they ask: “Tell me about a time when you did X.”

And you think: I haven’t really done X. What do I say?

This is where many of us panic. We imagine someone else might just make something up. But that feels fake.

Here’s what works instead: Start with what you do know about the skill.

Let’s say they ask about user research, and you haven’t done formal research.

Instead of saying “I haven’t done that,” try this:

“I know user research requires creating psychological safety and listening really well. In my current role, when I onboarded my team, I spent time understanding what each person really cared about. I asked open questions and let them do most of the talking. The skills transfer.”

You started with something positive and showed you understand what the skill requires. And then you connected it to experience you actually have.

You can also frame the gap as an opportunity:

“One reason I’m excited about this role is that it would let me deepen my skills in X. Here’s what I’ve already done to learn...”

This shows self-awareness, initiative and that you’re someone who grows.

Most hiring managers aren’t looking for perfection, but for potential.

The bottom line

That job you’re hesitating to apply for? The promotion you’ve been waiting to feel “ready” for?

The people who get those roles aren’t 100% qualified. They’re 60-70% qualified and willing to learn the rest.

What if you could be too?

Make the two lists. Ask a friend. Lead with what you know.

You don’t need to be perfect. You need to be in the room.