When your team thinks you don’t deserve to be their manager

 
Come with me back in time for a moment.

It’s my first leadership role - I’ve just been promoted. I’m leading an amazing team, tasked with developing a new product line for the company. I remember feeling so excited.

But there is one thing I didn’t anticipate. The people who know the most on my team? They don’t want me leading them.

The power shift nobody talks about

When you get promoted, you’re often put in charge of people who know more than you do in their specific areas: Senior engineers, subject matter experts. People who’ve spent years mastering their craft.

Before your promotion, everything felt balanced. They had deep technical knowledge. You had other strengths, like connecting people or seeing the bigger picture. Everyone brought something different to the table.

Then you got the promotion, and everything changed.

Suddenly, you have positional power: You’re the one making decisions, the one who is in charge.

Those senior experts notice that.

When experts feel threatened

Here’s what I didn’t expect: Some team members didn’t celebrate my promotion, they felt threatened by it.

Think about it from their perspective. Yesterday, you were equals. Today, you have authority over them. That shift can feel uncomfortable, even unfair.

When people feel threatened, they usually do one of two things.

Some withdraw. That means they stop sharing ideas in meetings, they avoid working closely with you and become quiet and distant. This isn’t helpful for anyone.

Others fight back. They try to bring you down. In my experience, this was the more common response.

What does fighting back look like? It might be picking apart every small error you make. Pointing out typos in your emails. Questioning your decisions in front of others. Or quietly influencing teammates to ignore your requests.

It’s exhausting. And if you don’t address it, things only get worse.

So what can you do about it?
 

How to prevent this from happening

The good news? You can avoid most of these problems by being proactive from day one.

1. Clarify your role early

Have an honest conversation with your senior experts. Tell them directly: “I’m not here to become better at your job than you are. That’s not my role.”

Explain what you are there to do: You’re the connector, the enabler, the person who removes obstacles and helps the team succeed.

Then ask about their goals. Where do they want their career to go? How can you help them get there?

When you show genuine interest in their growth, you shift from being a threat to being an ally.
 

2. Lead in a way that lifts them up

Invite their input on decisions, ask for their expertise openly. And when things go well, give them the credit.

Think of your relationship as a ladder you’re climbing together. The more you bring them into the process, the faster the whole team delivers results. And when the team succeeds, you succeed as the manager.

3. What to do when they push back anyway

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, someone still tries to undermine you. What then?

Here’s what not to do.

Don’t fight back aggressively. Sending an angry email saying “Why are you picking on me?” will only make things worse.

But also, don’t stay quiet and hope it goes away. That’s a slippery slope. If you ignore small jabs, they’ll grow into bigger ones, and your authority will slowly erode.

Instead, take them into a one-on-one conversation.

Start by asking a simple question: “How do you feel about how things are going right now?”

If they don’t open up, share your honest view. You might say something like: “I get the impression there’s some tension between us. I’ve noticed a few things that make me think you might not see me as the right person for this role. I’d love to understand where that’s coming from, because honestly, this kind of dynamic isn’t good for either of us.”
 

Turning a rival into an ally

One of my team members clearly wanted my job. The tension was obvious.

Instead of pretending everything was fine, I addressed it directly.

I said: “Look, I know you wanted this role. We can’t change what happened. Leadership made their decision. But here’s what we can do. We can work together so that when the next opportunity comes, you’re the obvious choice. People don’t stay in roles forever. I want to help you shine so you can step into a role like this, whether it’s here or somewhere else.”

That conversation changed everything. We went from silent conflict to genuine collaboration.

The bottom line

Getting promoted is exciting. But it also changes how people see you, and how they relate to you.

Your senior experts aren’t your enemies. They’re talented people who might feel uncertain about their place in the new order.

When you lead with clarity, invite their expertise, and address tension directly, you can turn potential rivals into your strongest supporters.

Start with one conversation this week. Ask a senior team member: “How do you see our working relationship going? What would make this work well for both of us?”

You might be surprised what you learn.