The one mindset shift that changed how I handle pressure

I used to think my racing heart before big meetings meant I was just... too shy.

Too quiet. Definitely not the type who belonged in leadership teams.

You walk into a room full of people who seem like they were born knowing exactly what to say. Meanwhile, your brain decides this is the perfect moment to completely check out.

Heart pounding. Thoughts scattered.

And you're standing there thinking: "Great. Here we go again."

For years, I thought this was just... me. My personality. My limitation.

The quiet one. The overthinking one. The one who doesn't quite fit in.

Then my flute teacher - a professional orchestral soloist and conservatoire professor - said something that completely shifted how I see this...

One sentence that shifted my perspective

During a recent lesson we were discussing performance anxiety. That feeling when you're about to perform solo and your hands start shaking.

He said something that stopped me in my tracks:

"When it comes to your brain, you are just a passenger."

I'm sorry, what now?

He explained: A lot of what happens in your head is completely outside your control. Your nervous system does its thing. Stress hormones get released. Your heart rate speeds up. You can't stop any of this - it just happens.

And here's the fascinating part: when you accept that you're just along for the ride, something powerful shifts. You stop fighting the feelings. You zoom out. You stay calm because you know it's not really "you" - it's just your brain doing complicated chemistry.

This understanding is what separates high-performance musicians from everyone else.

And apparently... it's what can separate high-performance professionals too.

Your brain doesn't care if it's music or meetings

Here's what hit me...

Your brain doesn't know the difference between performing music and presenting quarterly results.

Same stress hormones get released. Same chemical reactions happen. Same fight-or-flight response kicks in.

The only difference? I spent years thinking my work anxiety meant something was wrong with me.

When really... it just meant my nervous system was doing exactly what nervous systems do.

But here's where it gets more complicated. When you're in work environments that trigger you emotionally - maybe you're the only woman in the room, or you feel like you don't belong...

Your brain releases even more stress hormones.

Not because you want it to. But because that's what brains do when they sense threat.

Even when the "threat" is just feeling exposed or different.

When I became my own brain scientist

I used to walk into senior leadership meetings and immediately feel my chest tighten.

Then I'd get frustrated with myself for feeling anxious.

I'd perform poorly because I was too busy having an internal argument with my own chemical reactions.

I'd take that as proof that I didn't belong there.

This became my cycle. And it was exhausting.

But now? Now I have what I call my "chemical reaction sensor."

When I notice my heart racing or my thoughts getting scattered, I observe it differently.

Like: "Oh. My brain is releasing stress hormones right now. That's what's happening."

No judgment about my character. No fighting the feelings. Just: "There goes my nervous system, doing its automatic thing."

And you know what happens when you stop wrestling with your own brain chemistry?

You actually have mental energy left for the actual meeting.

Your starting point: Watch your breath

Want to try this? Start with something simple.

Your breath.

Your breathing connects directly to your emotions and those chemical reactions. When stress hormones flood your system, your breathing gets quick and shallow. When you're calm, it's slow and deep.

Next time you're in a challenging situation:

• Check your breathing every few minutes
• If it's quick or shallow, just notice it
• Think: "My brain is releasing chemicals. That's normal biology."
• Take one slow, deep breath
• Continue with what you're doing

That's it.

Because here's the thing... once you realise these reactions are just complicated chemistry, not personal failings, everything changes.

The truth about those "confident" people

Those people who look so composed in meetings?

Their nervous systems are releasing the exact same stress hormones as yours.

Their brains are doing the same chemical reactions.

The difference is they either don't notice it happening, or they understand it's just biology doing its thing.

When you stop thinking your stress response means you don't belong... when you stop fighting your brain's automatic chemical reactions... when you realise this is just human biology...

You get your power back.

You don't need to be fearless to be successful. You just need to understand that fear, anxiety, and stress are passenger experiences - not driver experiences.

You're still the one making the decisions.

What I want you to try this week

Start noticing when your brain's chemistry kicks in.

Next time you're in a situation that triggers your stress response, check in with your breathing. Notice if your heart rate changes. Pay attention to when your thoughts start racing.

Don't try to fix any of it. Just observe it like you're a scientist studying how stress hormones affect thinking.

Because when you understand you're just experiencing complicated brain chemistry... when you know these reactions don't mean anything about your capabilities...

You stop taking it all so personally.

And that changes everything.

Your brain is going to release stress hormones anyway. Your nervous system is going to do its automatic thing.

But now you know you're just along for the ride.